Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
