everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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