dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize