that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
