there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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