she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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