GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize