Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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