I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
