Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
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This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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