no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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