Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
