So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
