how can u be prego again
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
