Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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