hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize