Just fell off a train. Bad.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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