I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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