I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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