I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
