therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
