your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
