her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
