Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
my liver is dry heaving
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