I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
