Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
