you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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