we're blogging at a bar
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
