i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize