oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
