Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
