Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
