I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
