Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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