I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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