i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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