You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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