I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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