I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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