I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
