I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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