What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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