HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
