the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
