Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
