so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
