Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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