Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
