Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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