Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think a kid would responsible me up
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Randomize
