1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
