I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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