Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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