i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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