What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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