matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
