hotel room ftw
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
