break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize